


Fix You

by JessLovesRobron



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Anger, Betrayal, Broken, Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Hurt, Jealousy, Love, M/M, One Shot, Secret Relationship, Self-Harm, Support
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-30
Updated: 2015-04-30
Packaged: 2018-03-26 13:11:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3852163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JessLovesRobron/pseuds/JessLovesRobron
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Robert finds out Aaron is cutting again and all he wants to do his fix him.</p><p>Inspired Song: "Fix You" by Coldplay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fix You

Robert started noticing something off about Aaron a while ago.

He began realising how Aaron's smiles no longer reach his eyes. They're forced. Even when Robert manages to get time away from the Whites to spend rare alone time with him, he always notices how Aaron fakes his smiles. Aaron's smiles immediately turns into a frown when he reckons Robert isn't looking... but Robert's caught him a number of times at the corner of his eye.

Then there's the showers. Firstly: they're far too long. Secondly: Robert is no longer allowed in them. This one confuses him because shower sex is a common thing in Aaron and Robert's relationship, so to have him drop it all of a sudden is odd, especially when there's no reasonable explanation for it.

Not only is he not allowed to shower with Aaron anymore, but he's also not allowed to touch him in certain ways or make love to him. He flinches whenever Robert so much as touches him. Sure, they snog a lot, but as soon as Robert's hands find their way under Aaron's shirt, Aaron's pulling away and saying he's not in the mood for sex. Again, it's strange, what with Robert and Aaron being sex-crazed at the start of their relationship and now barely able to touch skin.

But Robert's not stupid, and it only took him a couple of weeks to figure it out. How could he not? He knows ever inch of Aaron by heart, and he knows when there's something wrong just by the sound of his voice, or by the shade of his eye colour.

Not only has Robert figured out what Aaron is up to, but he's also figured out the reason for his secret lover's actions.

 _Them_.

Well, it's not so much  _them_ , it's more to do with the hiding part of it. Robert's hurting, too; what with having to play  _happy families_ up at Home Farm when all he really wants to be doing is being there for Aaron. But he has a reputation to think of, a business, a fiancé. He can't ruin it all now, regardless of how much he loves Aaron and wants to be with him. It'll never work anyway, not with the judgement they'll constantly be surrounded by.

But right now - with everything that's going on with Aaron - he wants to put his family, friend and business aside. Not that he's really got a choice when Aaron is all he can think about. No matter what the time of day is, what he's doing, or where he is: it's always Aaron on his mind, distracting him from everything else in his surroundings. That's not Aaron's fault for being so irresistible.

It's one day while he's sat in his office back at Home Farm, his mind a battle of conflicting emotions, when it hits him...

He wants  _his_ Aaron back, and he's determined to make it happen.

* * *

A couple of weeks later. Robert finally gets his chance.

He's more than happy to find out Chrissie, Lawrence, and Lachlan are all going to visit Chrissie's sister for the weekend. Robert was offered to go with him, but with Aaron needing him more than ever, he turned it down using the excuse of paperwork.

That day, he stands in front of the house, watching as the Whites all get packed and settled in Lawrence's car. Chrissie is the last to get in. She stands beside the vehicle, looking hesitant, like she doesn't want to leave Robert on his own again.

'You sure you don't mind us going?' she questions, a hint of sadness in her voice. 'Because we can always stay here, if you prefer.'

'Don't be daft,' Robert replies, throwing in a convincing smile.

'And you can't come with us?' Chrissie asks, frowning as she already knows the answer she's about to receive.

'It's the paperwork,' Robert explains for the tenth time that day. 'The deadline's being harsh. Next time, eh?'

Chrissie still looks unsure.

'Go,' Robert pushes on impatiently. 'Your sister'll be wondering where you got to. I'll be fine.'

Chrissie sighs in defeat. 'All right.' She walks the small distance and pecks Robert on the lips before joining her son and father in the car. 'Call if there's any problems, won't you?' she calls out the passenger's window.

'There won't be,' Robert assures.

After Chrissie gives him her winning, loving smile, Robert waves the family off. The vehicle speeds down the road and turns the corner so they are now out of sight.

Not wanting to waste a single minute of the free weekend, Robert picks his phone out from the inside of his blazer pocket and immediately finds Aaron's name as it's at the top of his contact list.

He presses the call button and holds the device to his ear, waiting patiently for someone to pick up.

'Yeah,' is all Aaron's says when he answers the call, silence following. Robert frowns at that. He's not used to such a blunt tone from Aaron.

'Come over,' Robert says, a demanding tone to his voice. Aaron may go around acting the tough guy, but he can't deny feeling extremely turned-on whenever Robert is demanding towards him. But for some reason, Aaron wasn't feeling it.

'What, now? Yeah, that;ll go down well,' Aaron replies with cutting sarcasm, ' _hi, Chrissie, don't mean to interrupt, but I'm here to hang out with my secret boyfriend who happens to be your fiancé. I hope you don't mind._ ' Robert can hear the eye roll in Aaron's voice.

'Yeah, no thanks,' Aaron continues.

'You're a miserable git sometimes, Aaron,' Robert tells him, slightly irritated at how difficult Aaron is being about coming over.

'Thanks for your honesty. I don't get much of that from you now days,' Aaron snarls.

'I guess I walked into that,' Robert mutters, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration.

'Yeah, you did,' Aaron agrees.

Robert sighs. 'I'm trying to make an effort here, Aaron, but you need to work with me.'

'What d'you mean?' Aaron asks.

'These lot are out,' Robert explains. 'It means-'

Aaron cuts him off, 'I know what it means.'

'So,' Robert pushes on, 'you coming over or...'

'I can't.'

Robert then frowns. 'Seriously? Why?'

'Diane's under the weather and I told me mum I'd help out behind the bar,' Aaron tells him shortly. 'Maybe another time.'

Robert groans, his frustration increasing. 'Come on... it's not that often we get time to ourselves. Get Paddy, to someone to help out. I was really looking forward to it.'

'Yeah, well, it's not all about you, Robert,' Aaron hisses.

'No, you're right, it's not,' Robert agrees, a sigh afterwards. 'But we  _both_ need this.' When Aaron doesn't reply, he adds, 'Look, I'll come to the pub and drag you out myself if I have to.'

'You wouldn't.'

'Try me.'

A defeated sigh is heard from the other end of the line before Aaron is saying, 'Fine, I'll come. How long we got?'

'The weekend,' Robert answers, disguising his excitement.

'I'll get me stuff and be round in an hour,' Aaron assures tiredly. Then the phone line goes silent and Robert knows he's hung up - without so much as a bye!?

Trying to not let it get to him, Robert slides his phone back into his pocket and walks into the house. He's not sure how he's going to bring up Aaron's self-harming during the weekend, but he knows it's something he has to do now... before it's too late.

* * *

Later on.

Aaron and Robert are currently sitting at the dinner table, a full plate of food in front of them. It's dead silent, the only bit of noise coming from the contact their forks are making with the plates as they pick at their meals.

They've spoken only a little bit since Aaron arrived. They gave each other a shorter-than-usual kiss when he walked through the door, and they'd spent a couple of hours cuddled in front of the television while sharing an occasional peck here and there. They'd even had some small talk when boring parts of the programme was on. But that's not enough for Robert; he wants more.

Don't get him wrong, it's not just about sex - it never has been - but Robert wants things to go back to how they used to be. He does enjoy the cuddling in silence, just enjoying each other's company... but he isn't going to deny missing the love-making at the end of the night and waking up wrapped in each other's arms, which they haven't done for months. Little does he know, Aaron misses it just as much.

When Robert catches Aaron's eye across the table, he sees Aaron look away and down at his plate, a small shake of his head. He's not eating as such, just playing around with it, irritating Robert even more.

'Everything all right?' Robert asks, eyebrow raised.

Aaron looks back up, his eyes locking with Roberts. 'What?' He then realises what Robert has asked. 'Er - yeah, just not hungry.' He gives an apologetic shrug.

'Too posh for your liking?' Robert teases.

'Something like that,' Aaron replies, his eyes now looking anywhere but his boyfriend.

'Sorry, it's all Chrissie has in,' Robert explains apologetically.

Aaron nods and chooses not to say anything else, the mention of Robert's  _real_ lover already killing the mood.

 _It's now or never,_ Robert thinks. He shakes his head, his fork landing on the glass plate with a clank. At the noise, Aaron looks back up with a frown of confusion.

'How long you gonna keep this up?' Robert questions, shaking his head and setting his hands on the table at either side of his plate.

'You what?' Aaron replies, now confused.

'I know, Aaron. All right?' Robert's tone is snappy. 'It's written all over your face.'

Aaron also puts his fork down, his food laying forgotten. He leans back in his chair, arms crossed. 'Care to fill me in about what you  _know_?'

'You're cutting again,' Robert blurts out, not meaning to sound so harsh and so quick but he couldn't keep it in. 'I'm sure of it now I've worked it out.'

Aaron is embarrassed and beyond angry. 'Listen, you don't know anything about me and whatever you think you know, well you're wrong.'

'Cut the bullshit,' Robert speaks, trying to sound calm but he's boiling inside. 'I know what you're like and I know when you're lying.'

'You know what, I don't need this shit. Not from you.' Aaron stands up and walks out from the kitchen.

'Oy, where you going?' Robert demands, following Aaron up the stairs.

'Getting my stuff and going,' Aaron snaps over his shoulder, not taking the time to stop and talk. He picks up his pace, what with Robert being on his heels. He storms into Robert's bedroom and picks up his rucksack, throwing it over his shoulder.

'You're not going anywhere,' Robert says, snatching Aaron's bag out of his grasp and dropping it carelessly to the floor. 'At least not until we talk.'

'You made a false-accusation and now I'm pissed. There's nothing more to say.' Aaron picks his bag back up and glares evilly at Robert. 'This weekend was a mistake, just like we are. Now get out me way.'

Aaron pushes past Robert angrily, only for Robert's large hand to grab a tight hold of his wrist to spin him back around so they are now face to face.

'Talk to me,' Robert pleads. His grip on Aaron tightens, desperate to not let him go. 'You know I can't help you unless you let me in. Please, Aaron.'

Aaron jerks his hand out of Robert's grip furiously. 'I don't need you,' he spits. 'I don't need anyone.' Then he walks out, the front door downstairs slamming shut a minute or so later. Robert wants to go after him, but he knows it'll only lead to a physical scrap and that's the least their relationship need - after last time.

Robert groans and kicks the wall in anger.

All he wants to do is help Aaron - fix him, if possible.

* * *

The next day.

Robert is lacking sleep. The reason for this is because he'd stayed up all night, worrying his heart out about Aaron, scared of what the younger boy will attempt to do next. He knows what Aaron's capable of. But he's said it from the start: he can't lose Aaron, and he isn't about to start now.

As soon as he wakes up that morning, he gets dressed into his signature clothing: suit and tie, before he grabs his keys from the kitchen side. He doesn't want to leave things how they are from last night. He needs to talk to Aaron - properly, while Chrissie is still away and he still has the chance.

After a short car journey to the scrap yard, Robert gets out, locking and alarming the vehicle before he approaches the cabin where Aaron is most likely going to be. He's prepared to speak to Aaron, regardless of who has to listen in.

When he opens the cabin door, he sees Adam sitting at the desk, head down as he works on whatever it is on the paper. His eyes examine the small space. Aaron is nowhere to be seen.

'All right, mate?' Adam greets, looking up, pen drawn between his teeth.

Robert gives an impatient nod as his greeting. 'No Aaron today?'

'Nah. I doubt he'll be in,' says Adam, a smirk dancing on his lips. He looks somewhat proud. 'He'll probably kill me for saying this, but let's just say, he got lucky last night.'

'Meaning?' Robert asks, sounding casual, when all he wants to do is pin Adam up to the wall and demand answers of Aaron's whereabouts.

'He was feeling down - you know what Aaron's like - so I decided to treat him to a night at BarWest,' Adam explains, oblivious of how he's making Robert angry and jealous.

'He's only gone and pulled, ain't he?' Adam continues. 'He didn't come home until the morning - massive hang-over an' that - so I gave him the day off. The little minx, he deserves it.'

Right now, Robert is jealous, confused, jealous, hurt, jealous, angry, and jealous all at the same time. He doesn't know how to react.

'So you're telling me, you let some drunk take advantage of him?' Robert accuses in disgust. This is way too calm for Robert's liking: all he wants to do is scream and shout at Aaron, and then beat the shit out of whoever this bloke was.

'Nah, man,' Adam defends. 'He was a decent bloke an' that, just what our Aaron needs.'

That doesn't help. It only makes Robert even angrier as he worries about whether Aaron had taken down his number or anything. He doesn't know if he'll be able to cope with that: Aaron showing an interest in another man. No - it'll kill him.

'You know that, do you?' Robert snaps, his protectiveness of Aaron overcoming his jealousy. 'You meet some random at a gay bar and you think he's the one? What's next, wedding plans?'

'No.' Adam is now frowning. 'This was just a chance for Aaron to have a little fun, that's all?'

Robert laughs humourlessly. 'Fun?'

'Gee, calm down, mate,' Adam speaks. 'Why does it offend you so much?'

'It doesn't,' Robert snaps, realising he was letting his love for the mechanic show. He takes a breath, aware of the questionable look on Adam's face. 'Look, I need to go.' Robert says no more and instead walks out the cabin, slamming the door behind him.

Adam is left confused and suspicious.

* * *

Robert feels sick.

He wants nothing more than to drive to The Woolpack and confront Aaron. So that's exactly what he's doing. And yes, he's aware he technically hasn't got the right to be jealous, but how can Aaron refuse _Robert's_  touches and kisses but accept the whole damn thing from a _stranger_. It doesn't make sense.

He isn't thinking when he parks outside the pub, or when he storms inside. He ignores the death glare he receives from Chas and walks behind the bar, knowing Chas can't say anything whereas it's also his step-mum's pub and he has permission to go through the back whenever he pleases.

He barges through to the back room, unsure of what he's going to do or say. He finds Aaron sprawled out on the sofa in front of the TV, a groan coming from his lips, his eyes covered with his arm.

Aaron isn't aware Robert is in the doorway, watching him.

So Robert walks across the room until he reaches Aaron, and then he bends down to the younger boy's ear level and whispers, 'Upstairs now.'

Startled, Aaron removes his arm from his face, only to now be staring into the angry blue eyes of Robert Sugden.

Robert sends Aaron one last threatening glare before standing up. He walks out the back room and jogs up the staircase in twos. He knows full-well Aaron will be right behind him. With Robert being in the mood he is, Aaron'll be stupid to ignore him.

'What d'you think you're playing at?' Aaron hisses, closing the bedroom door once he's joined Robert inside.

'Me?' Robert raises his voice in disbelief. 'Don't play the fucking innocent, Aaron, I know what you got up to last night.'

'What?' Aaron looks confused and Robert's unsure whether he's just playing dumb or really has no idea.

'Getting off with some random, Aaron, that's what.' Robert just can't control his anger, not now this moment has come.

'You talking 'bout Michael?'

'Does it look like I give a shit what his name is?' Robert snaps.

Aaron rolls his eyes. 'Who told you anyway?'

'I had to hear from Adam,' Robert hisses, shaking his head in disgust. 'I had to stand there and listen to him, bragging about how some drunken stranger was taking advantage of  _my_ boyfriend. There was nothing I could do about it, except listen and it fucking killed me.' He groans, leaning his head back in frustration. 'I mean, what were you thinking? He could've been anyone and you slept with him.'

Aaron laughs humourlessly, and then his face just drops. 'Yeah, well, it's got got fuck all to do with you.'

'It's got everything to do with me when you can give it  _all_ to some stranger, yet you flinch when  _I_ so much as touch you? I don't get it,' Robert groans, throwing his hands in the air helplessly. His eyes finally land back on Aaron. 'You need to help me understand what's going on in your head because right now, I can't work out what you want or who you want.'

Aaron is silent, thinking over how he's going to get out of this one. As much as he wants to explain himself to Robert and apologise filled with promises that he'll never do it again, he just can't - because he hasn't got the strength to do it. Besides, he can't promise something he may not be able to keep.

'Stop leaving me in the dark, Aaron,' Robert speaks after a while. 'You know I can help, if you open up to me. Let you're guard down.'

'I can't,' Aaron says in a barely audible whisper.

'It's me, of course you can,' Robert assures after just about hearing.

Aaron rubs at his forehead, feeling an unwelcome headache coming on. 'Drop it, Robert.'

Robert removes his arm out the way aggressively. 'No I won't drop it. Tell me what's going on.'

Aaron just shakes his head, unable to now use words. His arm is still grasped in Robert's large hand and he doesn't have the energy to pull away, so he just stays there, not fighting it because he'll lose regardless.

'You know what.' Robert drops Aaron's arm and takes a step back. 'Take off your shirt.'

Aaron frowns at the sudden command and replies, 'You - what?'

'You heard me.' Robert's voice is firm. 'Take it off.'

'I'm not gonna-'

'I'm not playing games,' Robert says, stopping Aaron in mid-sentence. 'Do it. Unless you want me to do it for you.'

Aaron looks upset. 'Hang on, are you actually forcing me to take my shirt off? What sick person does that?'

'The same sick person who has constant sleepless nights because he's up all night worrying about you! I'm scared, Aaron, of what you're next move's gonna be, and I'm terrified that one day, you might just cut too damn deep!' Robert's voice breaks and so does Aaron's heart. 'I won't lose you,' Robert continues, more quietly. 'So if it means I have to force you to do something you don't want to do, then so be it.'

'I know what I'm doing!' Aaron shouts, aware that he has to keep his volume at a low level before he alarms his mother who is working behind the bar. But he can't help it; he's just so freaking angry.

Robert shakes his head, a bitter smile on his lips. 'Yeah, like fuck you do.' Robert wants to stop here. He wants to stop shouting at the insecure boy in front of him, he wants to apologise to him, kiss and cuddle the pain away and then sleep it off. But the worry is eating away at him and he needs to put an end to it before it drives him insane.

'I do,' Aaron says, though it sounds like he's trying to convince himself more than Robert. But he sounds so insecure and Robert wants to hold him.

But cuddling's not an option right now, regardless of how badly Robert wants it.

Instead, Robert sits on the edge of Aaron's bed and buries his face into his hands, thinking things over for a moment.

'Robert,' Aaron tries speaking but is cut off when Robert shakes his head.

'Just - come here,' Robert eventually says softly, removing his hands from his face, his eyes watching Aaron.

Slowly, Aaron walks across the room and stands between Robert's legs. Robert's hands immediately go up to Aaron's waist and pulls him closer. He sighs, his thumb stroking over Aaron's hips gently, as if being the slightest bit rougher will have him shattering to the ground.

I don't know what you want me to say,' Aaron speaks quietly, looking down, his hands on Robert's shoulders. Robert looks up and he can already see the pain in Aaron's eyes, and the tears welling up, threatening to spill at any moment.

'I don't want you to say anything,' Robert replies, now looking straight ahead at Aaron's shirt-covered torso. His hands are gripping the hem of the shirt, desperate to lift the fabric. 'I want you to let me in... I want you to show me what's under this.' He pulls at the bottom of the shirt to make his point.

A single tear crawls down Aaron's red-tinted cheeks slowly as he removes Robert's hands from his shirt. 'You don't want to see.'

'It's not about wanting to, Aaron,' Robert whispers. 'I _need_ to.' He reaches up and strokes the tear from Aaron's cheek, his thumb lingering for a second. He drops his hands back to Aaron's shirt with a sigh. 'Please.'

Aaron is hesitant before he gives in with a barely audible, 'Okay.' His hands drop to his sides and he lets Robert take full control of the situation.

Robert takes a deep breath, the hem of Aaron's shirt in his fists. He closes his eyes for a brief moment and then he's opening them as he lists Aaron's shirt up gingerly.

Aaron's eyes find the ceiling, unable to face Robert's reaction. Tears are now freely coming out of his eyes, broken cries escaping his lips as he feels the cold air on his now-visible torso.

Robert's lips are parted as he takes in the image. Deeper and darker slashes of red are engraved into Aaron's skin, ruining his perfect torso. They look so fresh and recent, and Robert knows he hasn't seen them on him before, especially the longest scar which trails right from his chest and down to where his v-line is, overlapping his old and fading smaller ones.

Suddenly, Aaron's shirt is being released from Robert's grip and falling back to its original state. Robert looks away, tears in his eyes. 'I can't.'

Aaron's eyes are blood-shot red, but his crying has stopped. 'I understand.' He gives a small sniffle and nod, remaining between Robert's legs and waiting for the other boy to do something.

Silence fills the room.

'Why?' Robert finally asks, his eyes finding Aaron's again. 'You're cutting yourself to shreds, and for what?'

Aaron swipes the back of his hand across his eyes to get the best part of his tears away to clear his vision. 'It helps me, you know it does. Besides, it's the only thing I've got now days... the only thing that looks welcoming.'

'You've got me!' Robert is now angry, unable to control the spitting tone in his voice. 'You could've turned to me. I could've helped you!'

Aaron shakes his head. 'No, Robert, I never  _had_ you. You've made it clear plenty of times that you'd choose her over me in a heartbeat, so don't sit there and act like you've always invited me in with open arms because that's complete and utter bollocks.'

Robert is now silent, knowing full-well that Aaron is right.

Then Robert nods, not knowing what else to say or do because Aaron has just told him how it is and he couldn't agree more with him. He's been an arsehole towards Aaron and those actions might just be the reason for Aaron's scars... shit, he's only now realising that he's fucked up big time.

'You're right,' Robert mumbles, looking away. 'It's my fault. I'm sorry.'

'Hey.' Aaron lifts Robert head up by his chin and gives him a watery smile. 'I never said to blame yourself. This,' he gestured to his clothed torso, 'isn't your fault. I'm just weak.'

'Weak?' Robert shakes his head in disagreement. He pulls Aaron down by his hand to sit beside him on the bed and continues, 'You're the strongest man I know, Aaron, you're far from weak. Look at all the shit you've been through, yet you're still standing tall.'

'Then - then why do I feel so small, so helpless?' Aaron has now broken down, burying his face into Robert's neck while he lets out choked sobs.

Robert, a tear of his own crawling down his cheek, pulls Aaron closer. 'Shh, it's gonna be okay,' he whispers, rubbing soothing circles on his boyfriend's back.

Aaron pulls back, his cheeks tear-stained. 'Tell me, Robert,' he sniffs, 'how's it gonna be okay when I'm so fucked up?'

'Because I'm not gonna let you fall anymore,' Robert whispers. He leans his forehead against Aaron's. 'I'm gonna protect you, take away your pain and make you feel better. I won't let you break, not again.'

Aaron closes his eyes and sobs harder. 'You can't. Nobody can. I'm - I'm already broken.'

Robert brushes his lips against Aaron's tear-soaked ones for a brief moment before saying, 'Then I'll fix you.'

Robert knows it's easier said than done, that he'll need to do everything in his power. He knows he'll need to now keep a close eye on Aaron, be his distraction whenever he's tempted to cut to go to the edge of the quarry.

Robert realises, after all this time, who his number one priority should've been. Yeah, living it large in a fancy house and having it all is fun, but having what he and Aaron have is worth so much more.

Aaron's just disappointed he's had to go through hell and back - then some - to make Robert see it.

But now Robert has, he plans on fixing up the boy he eventually broke.

Sure, it's going to take some time, but with Aaron now being Robert's number one, they'll get there sooner than they think.

**-THE END-**

________________

_Dear reader,_

_A massive thanks to those who have taken the time to read this one-shot! Don't hesitate to let me know what you thought in the comments, or share the love with Kudos! <3_

_If you want more from me, then tell me so in the comments. But I'm gonna need some help from you guys: so send me prompts/requests and I'll be sure to have it done as soon as possible!_

_Thanks again, you beauts!_

_\- Jess, x_

 

 


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